She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize