It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
