I didn't shave. On purpose
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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