Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
