things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
