In the future we'll all be gay
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
