You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
