So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
