If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
