standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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