Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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