I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
