chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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