The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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