I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
