I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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