theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
