Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
