We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
