I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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