WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
