Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
