guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
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