please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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