we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
