i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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