...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
