Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
