Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
