ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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