One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
