I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
