Me too!
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
