I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize