My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
