do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
