He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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