Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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