Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
This show inspires me to have sex in space
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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