Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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