Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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