If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
a search helicopter?!
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
