ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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