Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
