Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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