I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Randomize
