when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
