We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
be right there i have to get my cape
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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