I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
