she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
