ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i dont even know how to be here
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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