If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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