Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I stole a fireplace last night.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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