This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
