Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
