he thought i was a dude.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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