when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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