the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Are my feet made of real feet?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
