Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
