So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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