im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
