And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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