OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
