So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
