he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
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